Positive Space
Many people struggling with OCD are shocked when they learn their symptoms fall on the OCD spectrum. “But I thought all people with OCD are afraid of germs. I thought they’re all neatniks who wash their hands a lot.” Not true! While that may describe some people with OCD, let’s take a look at the MANY ways OCD can present.
More than half of the clients who come to see me for treatment struggle with what many refer to, colloquially, as “Pure O,” or “Pure/Primarily Obsessional OCD.” The term “Pure O” is meant to describe a subtype of OCD that exists largely in one’s head with little to no obvious, outward compulsive behaviors. Many clients who present for help describe their symptoms as “anxiety” or “feeling like I just can’t shut my brain off.” Few clients, prior to receiving treatment, actually recognize their internal thought struggles as a form of OCD. In this post, I examine the OCD subtype of “Pure O” and suggest directions for treatment.
I’m a reformed perfectionist. It’s still a daily effort for me to back off my perfectionistic tendencies and welcome (gasp!) errors into my life. But, when I am able to open the door to imperfection, I feel more human and free. Even harder than welcoming imperfection has been coming to terms with uncertainty and doubt. Perfectionists live with the illusion of control and the false belief that if everything is ‘just so’ they can ward off unpleasant or negative experiences. The trap here, of course, is that perfectionism is, itself, an unpleasant experience.
Last night, I was privileged to sit in the presence of some brave pioneers. If given the choice, I imagine they would opt to not be in this group. Yet, here they were. Parents of children afflicted with a devastating and mysterious condition known as PANDAS or PANS. Children and teens who have suffered for years with not only the brutal symptoms of the disorder….but the chronic failings of our health care industry and the skepticism and judgments of doctors and specialists. Yes, here they were. These brave pioneers.
She waited her whole life for this. When she was 4-years old, she laid all her baby dolls out on the kitchen floor and covered them, lovingly, with dish towels, shushing them to sleep. When she was 17-years old, she delighted in babysitting for the neighborhood kids. Now, at 33-years old, she leans over her newborn baby’s bassinet and….something is terribly, terrifyingly wrong.
I’ve recently met several new clients who presented with the same heartbreaking, terrifying illness: POCD. While most Americans have heard the term “OCD” and are familiar with at least some of the disorder’s symptoms, few people have ever heard of POCD, or Pedophile OCD. As the name implies, Pedophile OCD involves intrusive thoughts of such a repulsive nature that clients often wait years before seeking treatment.